How To Embrace Sobriety Schizophrenia: Understanding Our Desire to Label Ourselves When We Quit the Sauce (and Why It’s OKAY to Be Confused!)

A common experience for many in the early stages of sobriety is the constant need to label and define your newfound relationship with alcohol. It’s okay to feel uncertain, to question and redefine your identity in the context of sobriety, and to resist the pressure of external labels. What matters most is that you find a path that empowers you, supports your well-being, and aligns with your personal values and aspirations.

When I made the decision to embark on my sobriety journey, I expected clarity and a newfound sense of self. However, what I encountered was a conflicting array of emotions and a desire to label and define myself in this new chapter of my life. I soon realized that this phenomenon of being confused by your newly found sobriety is not uncommon.

The Complexity of Sobriety

Sobriety is a complex and multifaceted journey. It encompasses more than just abstaining from alcohol; it involves introspection, personal growth, and a reevaluation of our relationship with ourselves and the world around us. It is natural to feel confused as we navigate this uncharted territory, as we grapple with our evolving identity and our place in a society that often revolves around alcohol.

The Need to Define

In the early stages of sobriety, I found myself grappling with the need to label and define my newfound relationship with(out) alcohol. It seemed as though society demanded a clear-cut identity to validate my decision. I questioned whether I was an “alcoholic” or if I needed a concrete reason to justify my sobriety. I knew that alcohol was no longer enjoyable for me, yet I struggled to articulate why I wanted to completely give it up. While I felt good with my choice, explaining it to others was not easy. The urge to neatly define my situation often arises due to societal pressures and the expectation to neatly fit into predefined categories.

A Personal Journey

For me, this need to label and define came from a place of feeling like I had to justify my decision to stop drinking to those around me. I found myself constantly having to explain my decision to abstain from alcohol. I felt like I needed a label, a reason, a justification for my sobriety. It was almost as if my sobriety wasn’t valid unless I had a concrete reason for it. And it wasn’t just that I needed clarification, those around me seemed to need it as well.

In such instances, not having a clear-cut label like “alcoholic” lead to feelings of vulnerability, self-doubt, and a sense of invalidation. Quite frankly, it would have been easier to just say I was pregnant – because people would have accepted the reason and moved on. This constant need to label and explain myself was exhausting. It was as if I was constantly apologizing for not drinking, as if it was some sort of character flaw. And the more uneasy I appeared to be, the more others seemed to fixate on my decision to stay sober.

Time Goes By

As I continued my journey (about 9 months or so in), I began to realize that this need to label and define my sobriety was unnecessary. Who cares if I don’t want to drink? Why is it anyone’s business in the first place? I began to see that my sobriety was valid in and of itself, and that I didn’t need a specific reason or label to justify it. I felt healthy. I felt happy. I loved my new life without alcohol. There were no more emotional highs and lows. I woke up with energy and positivity. I was living a truly healthy life – both physically and emotionally – and I no longer needed to prove to anyone why I didn’t want to drink anymore. As time passed, I had become more comfortable and confident in my new way of life. And I believe people could sense my newfound confidence and became more accepting. Confidence is key!

Societal Pressures

Part of the problem is the current drinking culture mindset. Society often portrays drinking as a social norm and expects everyone to partake in it. They want us to believe that drinking = fun. There is a pervasive idea that drinking is necessary for socializing, having fun, or unwinding after a long day. This mindset makes it difficult for people who choose to abstain from alcohol, regardless of their reasons.

But the truth is, drinking isn’t necessary for any of these things. Socializing, having fun, and unwinding can all be achieved without alcohol. It’s true!!! It’s important to shift this mindset and make space for people who choose to live alcohol-free lives. Sobriety is a personal choice, and one that should be celebrated and respected, regardless of the reason behind it. It’s okay to simply say “I don’t drink” without feeling the need to justify it. Over time, you will be stronger and more confident in your sobriety – and what seemed like a big deal in the beginning, is simply no longer an issue. You got this!

Final Takeaway

Sobriety is a deeply personal decision, and it deserves celebration and respect, irrespective of the motivations behind it. There is no obligation to provide extensive justifications or explanations for choosing not to drink. Simply stating “I don’t drink” should be enough, and it’s important to embrace and uphold that sentiment without feeling the need for further validation. You are always enough.