How I Accidentally Became the Unofficial Counselor for My Friends’ Drinking Problems

Whenever I open up to a friend about my decision to stop from drinking, I’ve noticed an intriguing shift in the dynamics of our conversation. Almost like a pivot, our discussion takes an unexpected turn, and the spotlight shifts onto their own experiences and thoughts regarding alcohol. It’s as if my choice serves as a catalyst, sparking their own reflections on their relationship with drinking. We are exploring this with you because we want you to know this will likely happen to you too. It’s not that your friends don’t care or that they’re trying to make your new sobriety all about them. In fact, it’s much the opposite.

This phenomenon could be attributed to a combination of factors. Firstly, sharing your decision to abstain from drinking may act as a gentle disruption to the typical conversational flow. It introduces a topic that’s somewhat outside the norm, prompting your friends to pause and reconsider their own experiences and attitudes towards alcohol.

There are other factors to consider too.

They May Feel Defensive…

If your friend is used to drinking with you or sees you as someone who enjoys drinking, they may feel defensive or uncomfortable when you tell them that you no longer drink. This can lead them to bring up their own relationship with alcohol as a way to justify their own drinking.

They May Be Curious…

Your decision not to drink may pique your friend’s curiosity and lead them to ask questions about why you made that decision. This can naturally lead to a conversation about their own experiences with alcohol.

They May Be Supportive

If your friend is a close ally and wants to support you in your decision not to drink, they may bring up their own relationship with alcohol as a way to express solidarity and support.

Final Takeaway

It’s important to remember that everyone has their own relationship with alcohol, and your decision not to drink may trigger different reactions in different people. And that’s totally ok! In fact, if you feel like it’s appropriate, you can use this as an opportunity to listen and offer support to your friend if they are struggling with their own relationship with alcohol.